Sender | Message | Time |
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19 Mar 2024 | ||
tadzik | In reply to @nep_nep:matrix.bottomservices.clubno it's not lolu | 13:06:24 |
tadzik | * no it's not lol | 13:06:25 |
Nep Nep | and just reinforces my point: keeping children in a bubble by treating them as immature makes them immature | 13:06:29 |
tadzik | nearly every 15yo goes through a stage of "education sucks, I know better because all my friends do it and they're cool" | 13:07:03 |
tadzik | it doesn't require abusive teachers, it's a natural way of a child looking for their own identity | 13:07:36 |
Nep Nep | because current education does suck, it teaches people to memorize things, not to reason, and people's inability to reason well into adulthood is why conspiracy theories are so prevalent | 13:07:43 |
Nep Nep | also it's quite funny that you specifically mentioned teens rather than children, since at that point even neuropsychological development can't be blamed, it's even more artificial
| 13:09:53 |
Nep Nep | this is one of my main areas of research, if you think i am wrong about something i quite hope you can back up what you say | 13:10:25 |
Nep Nep | anthropological research from freer societies also showcases the artificial nature of a lot of the immaturity seen today
| 13:13:08 |
Nep Nep | this is where people fall short, conflating neurological development (which becomes negligible in your 20s, 30s or even 40s depending on the measurement criteria) and neuropsychological development, which ends at the start of adolescence and is already quite slow a few years after the start of the "middle childhood" developmental stage | 13:15:22 |
Nep Nep | brain changes do not necessarily imply behavioral changes, and the latter is what matters in the real world, so unless a causal relationship for a specific kind of brain change and behavior is established (which is not the case here), brain changes don't mean anything | 13:16:31 |
Nep Nep | Michael Males' Does the Adolescent Brain Make Risk Taking Inevitable?: A Skeptical Appraisal covers that rather well, drawing parallels between it and previous biodeterminist claims in history | 13:18:54 |
deadcade | Oh hey it's Nep Nep talking about children, this time in another room | 13:22:19 |
Creak | Nep Nep I see that you know your subject, but I would be very surprised if all the scientists on the subject would agree that it is a simple binary matter: freedom or no freedom. Parenthood is about guiding your children until they are mature enough to take their own decisions. It is normal for a parent to hide objects or at least put them on higher shelves because it's dangerous for the young ones (I'm thinking about alcohol, but it's also true for guns in the USA). Ultimate freedom, i.e. freedom without any contraint, is definitely not a sustainable goal. As a society, as a social species, individual freedom is constrained by the others' freedom. Some contraints are mandatory and useful. It's all about balance. Too many constraints or not at all is not the answer. And it's the same for children, forcing them to watch the Teletubbies all the time because "it's harmless" is not the way to go, but letting them drink alcohol as much as they want is also not the way to go. And it's progressive... you definitely don't give whisky to a 1 year-old. But I think it's ok to have a taste at 17 (just a sip, to discover different tastes). | 13:53:37 |
Nep Nep | The problem is that blanket restrictions rather than education about why doing something is a bad idea to begin with prevents people from maturing, part of what Robert Epstein (senior research psychologist at the American Institute for Behavioral Research and Technology) calls "the artificial extension of childhood". Given the artificial nature of adolescent immaturity in current societies, there is no reason for a 17 year old to not have the same rights to drink that older people do, or a 15 year old for that matter, in the case of a 1 year old that restriction makes sense of course, since even an inconsequential amount for a developed person would be a death sentence due to lower body mass and liver function, but that is an inherent physiological reality, rather than psychology (what this conversation is about). My point here isn't that restricting less mature people can never make sense, it's that young people aren't as inherently immature as they are thought to be by the average person, for older children (it's a pretty gray area but usually I base it around 2-3 years after the start of middle childhood, so 8-9 in total) social interactions and life experience are the biggest factor in psychological maturation, and it is the only factor for adolescents. Of course, living longer logically implies that the mean life experience of a population increases with age, but the variance within that is so high that it makes age far too error prone as a way to judge that, the most obvious example being rich-from-birth sheltered young adults acting asinine. Someone's financial conditions, the specifics of where they live, whether they suffer from some form of social oppression (racism, queerphobia, etc) and more all can massively influence how quickly someone gains life experience. | 14:06:46 |
Creak | Just to be clear I wholeheartedly agree with you that education is most important. I just think that, when you are a parent, you have thousands of subjects to teach your children, and you can't teach them all at the same time. So having some tools, such as parental control, is welcome because it helps planning and prioritizing the education. But as always, it's just a tool, and it can also be badly used, or used for bad intentions... but the tool is not the issue here. | 14:15:01 |
Creak | * Just to be clear I wholeheartedly agree with you that education is most important. I just think that, when you are a parent, you have thousands of subjects to teach your children, and you can't teach them all at the same time. So having some tools, such as parental control, is welcome because it helps planning and prioritizing this education. But as always, it's just a tool, and it can also be badly used, or used for bad intentions... but the tool is not the issue here. | 14:15:28 |
Creak | * Just to be clear I wholeheartedly agree with you that education is most important. I just think that, when you are a parent, you have thousands of subjects to teach your children, and you can't teach them all at the same time. So having some tools, such as parental control, is welcome because it helps planning and prioritizing this education. But as always, it's just a tool, and it can also be badly used, or used with bad intentions... but the tool is not the issue here. | 14:15:42 |
Nep Nep | I'd argue that's just one of the many issues of parents not requesting the help of other family members (older siblings, grandparents, uncles/aunts, etc) enough when raising their children, having more people to learn from is pretty much always a good thing when possible. Of course, that's not possible in all families, but based on people I know (which I know isn't a great sample considering how much family composition varies between countries, and even regions of the same country, so take it with a grain of salt) it should be possible in the vast majority of cases, that specifically is something I haven't really researched though so please do correct me if I'm wrong (well, you should do that regardless, but someone is far more likely to be wrong if they haven't researched something than if they have, that's what I mean). | 14:22:02 |
Nep Nep | For context: I live in a mainly tertiary sector based city in a developing country (Brazil) | 14:24:27 |
tadzik |
I'd say on average the average person is about right. There may not be much in terms of brain development stopping 16yo from being a responsible person, but at that point they likely lack experience to make the right choices in life. And taking all limitations away may make them mature faster, yes – if they survive for that long. A child won't have enough foresight to not do something that's harmful for them but in a few years, thanks to their assorted life experience, they will likely now better. You don't allow 16 years olds to take go to a casino with limitess vodka supply, and you hope that by the time they're legally allowed to do this, they'll know not to | 14:36:37 |
tadzik | in a more videogaming sense, a 13yo generally won't hesitate when allowed to play video games all day and do nothing else. Yes, an 18yo may do that to, but they're much less likely to waste their life away this way | 14:37:35 |
tadzik | and typically they'd look at their past self and say "wow, I was so stupid these 5 years ago". And this continues throughout your life, just the degree of stupid changes :) | 14:38:02 |
Nep Nep | The point about life experience was already covered, individuals of the same age range vary far too much for it to be an even remotely useful qualifier, even if with enough people you can create an average that does increase with age. | 14:38:32 |
tadzik | I think you overestimate the degree to which it varies. It doesn't take more than a few years of aging to notice that | 14:40:26 |
Nep Nep | sigh why is wine trying to open my pdfs by default (opening Michael Males' aforementioned article right now to send an excerpt) | 14:41:42 |
tadzik | "I was such an irresponsible kid who didn't know right from wrong 5 years ago" is something you hear pretty much anyone say, up to the age of 25+ at least | 14:41:47 |
tadzik | unless they're yet to mature at all :) | 14:42:12 |
tadzik | adults don't start hating kids the moment they get older. They look at their past selves, their past peers and think "well, I guess the rules made sense after all". That's why these rules are still in place | 14:45:14 |
Nep Nep |
| 14:52:12 |