| 17 Dec 2021 |
 prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft) | If I remember correctly, my first Yahoo! Chat (chat.yahoo.com) when I was at age ~10, I was iGabe (or Gabecom), there should be a record in CIA PRISM or Oath.com's archives somewhere, I would gladly pay (and validate it was me from information only I could know) for the archival retrieval of my original Y! Chats to verify. | 00:00:13 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft) | 37... 7:03 | 00:03:57 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft) | 37 = https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4882174, for the record. | 00:04:26 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft) | Being raised by Jewish parents, and picking Black friends early, gave me plenty of warning that going that direction fully and having children who were not with a White person would lead to much judgement. In the interim, I decided that sleeping with a Black woman would possibly lead to violence from my own family. In that case, I decided being with men was safer for everyone involved til I had security and stability. Maybe by the time I am age 50. | 00:13:45 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft) | What's super fascinating in addition (or subtraction?), is that before 18 and deciding to at least experiment with another human being for once, I had only porn experience, which was of course algorithmically White as f, I was lucky to find a Black example once a week, on most sites any word I typed/searched gave White people in search results and Black people hidden from porn. I did not exactly specify what I was looking for, so I just received what other's projected. | 00:17:58 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft) | I mean, having my parents find what I was looking for in that sense would have led to violence, I already lost all chance of Black friends in school, just by telling my parents theyr'e not White and Jewish got me nonstop/everyday heat. | 00:20:20 |
 @antepost:matrix.org | Redacted or Malformed Event | 00:33:24 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft) | .Β‘π πππΎππππΒ‘.: Real name? Verification please. | 00:34:23 |
| @antepost:matrix.org | Redacted or Malformed Event | 00:35:22 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft)changed room power levels. | 00:35:44 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft) | Psychological breakthroughs lead to Matrix and Oath.com officers being witty. | 00:36:47 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft) | 37, is also like 737 which adds to 17. Boeing is a great company clearly all good minds. | 00:37:30 |
| @antepost:matrix.org left the room. | 00:38:05 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft) changed the join rule to "invite" from "public". | 01:12:53 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft) | To add to the fun, my racial identity was (being) effected by my sexual and gender identity. I have trouble determining if/which of the race/sex/gen id variables was the most significant counter/buzzword. I mean, I got heat for just hinting to my parent(s) about my schoolfriends' ethnicities (which I had to learn to not give away to mother/father/etc), then by not trying to breed I got labeled LGBTQUIA*, and what now realize is other people were guessing. | 01:38:18 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft) | What I now realize is other people guessing, in the form of professional assumptions and expectations, often referencing the last person I talked to from their research as a form of final evidence, was actually just professional guessing. Which for me, at the time, their guesses sounded like fact, with the professional degrees and all. | 01:40:20 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft) | I am not sure if saying White/Black er LGBTQ was the most significant buzzword. But any of those terms, it's like a password/keyword to get a bunch of referrals. | 01:41:57 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft) | All the while, nothing from a professional so triggering as a buzzword as those keywords. I could say Mother and Father 100 times and faint, and if I said "genitals" or "creed" right before fainting all they're going to remember is not the words Mom and Dad β somehow. | 01:44:26 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft) | Somehow β Dad and Mom are not taken seriously as Vocabulary words like racial and ethnic terminology, even if I'm fairly sure/certain that Mothers and Fathers come before. | 01:46:26 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft) | I guess talking about genitals in more exciting than talking about your Mom/Dad's problems, for a professional? | 01:49:24 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft) | I was prescribed medication like Celexa which is basically off-label Viagra, when I was remembering my parent(s) verbaliized fantasies in sessions. Apparently the priority was getting me to breed to fix my problems, before talking about the English words I remembered. | 01:51:29 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft) | I do not know who comes into a psychotherapy/psychologists session and just starts speaking legal code describing severe issues. Some people are lucky to fit all the buzzwords in under a few words (even better, most people can just watch CNN/Fox and repeat), I had a mathword problem instead. It would have helped to have English vocabulary be prioritized memory. | 01:54:43 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft) | Guessing professionally, err Guessing Professionals are what fill the vacuum when recording what I actually said was not the goal. | 01:57:53 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft)changed room power levels. | 04:05:02 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft)changed room power levels. | 04:09:32 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft) changed the join rule to "public" from "invite". | 04:12:03 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft)changed room power levels. | 04:16:44 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft)changed room power levels. | 04:17:34 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft)changed room power levels. | 04:17:42 |
| prosody Vereable Context (Gabriel Gaston Croft) | 2+2 if you notice = I am being defined by my behavior typing at a computer and not 4 memory of the words I wrote. | 04:26:17 |
